During times of religious celebration, we
are often inspired to reflect on the many blessings God has gifted to us, which
indeed are bountiful. My own life has
been blessed a hundredfold and I try to thank God everyday for it all.
On the wall beside my bed in Clifton, I have a reminder of the unsurpassable love God has for all of us - a portrait of the Cross. It was presented to me on the day of my First Communion by Sister Eleanor. Simple, inexpensive, yet rich in meaning. The image of the Cross alone bears more meaning than most things, yet it is not what I think most about when remembering it. It is the quote presented that has always stayed with me.
“I asked Jesus how much He loved me.
‘This much’ He said, and He spread out His arms and died.”
Jesus loved us so much, He died for us on the Cross. This selfless love is present every day and I try to be aware of it and be grateful to our benevolent Father.
“For gracious and merciful is He, slow to anger, rich in kindness.” (Joel, 2:13) Indeed my life is witness to His supreme kindness. I have been blessed by countless opportunities for education, work, travel, but more importantly in the plethora of wonderful people in my life.
From the beginning, when I first entered the world, I came into a blessed home. My parents are miracles. They are the first friends I ever had, the best. They brought me into this world and have given everything they can, sometimes sacrificing their own pleasures for the happiness of their children. To others, perhaps my treasured moments are small. It could be as simple as my father bringing home “Beauty and the Beast” dolls, one for each of us, even after saying he couldn’t or as big as my parents giving up their own earthly pleasures, so that my sister and I can not only attend our amazing school, but also live in a furbished, well-stocked home near campus. To me these things show just how much God loves me. He gave me to the best parents that I could ever have dreamed to have, and certainly wish I will resemble when my time comes.
And then, He brought me a younger sister, with whom I share everything though at times, toys were an issue. She is oftentimes my pillar, supporting me at times when I feel awkward or alone, a physical reminder that God will never allow me to be alone.
Most recently, God has blessed me with Alex, my darling boyfriend. He brings my dreams to reality. He is ever self-less and thoughtful, willing to diminish his food intake during a semester so that he could provide me with a trip to Europe of which I have dreamed my entire life. But it is not just what he does for me that makes me feel blessed to have him in my life, but that he makes me feel as if I can do anything and that whatever I do is wonderful.
It is not only in the miraculous individuals that God has allowed me to meet and share a life, that I feel the loving hands of God, but in moments when I feel distraught. I remember that as a little girl, I was asked by a member of the church to play Mother Mary at the Christmas play to be had at the church. Though I agreed to take part, my heart sank at the thought of being in front of an entire congregation and so I called to resign from my duties. When asked to reconsider, I prayed to God and I asked Mary intercede for me, to give me the strength and courage to do what others needed me to do. Walking down the aisle as Mary, I never felt an ounce of fear, and I knew then that it was because I was not alone.
I have never come to harm. God has protected me throughout my life. There was once a very real possibility of harm coming to parents, my sister, grandparents, and myself. On one of the annual visits to the Dominican Republic, word spread through the community that Americans had come to visit. A group of individuals came disguised as police with weapons demanding to search the home of my maternal grandparents who were well-to-do in the community. Their excuse was that having heard of our arrival, they suspected drug trafficking and had to search the entire residence. The experience was terrifying, not only to me, eleven at the time, but to my grandmother who was blind and could not understand what was occurring; my mother who was worried about her father who had just had a heart surgery; Juana, who shook so much she dropped the tray of coffee cups; and Lorenzo, the guard who had been held at gunpoint so that we would open the door. After searching and confiscating money, they left. No harm to anyone, not a bruise. This was the work of God. Not one of us was hurt in any way by the dozen or so men who held weapons. It still blows my mind at times to think that one false move could have meant the end for one of us, but God protected us all, as He always does and I believe always will.
Experiencing the Love of God in my life has inspired me to love others in return. I have always hoped to help others in their faith, mostly through example. It is the method I have found to be the most effective. Realizing the little faith shown by adolescents when in high school, I decided to begin something. My sister and I founded a youth group, called Servi Dei, with the guidance of our parish priest, Father Paul. The goal was to inspire young adults to freely discuss their faith and help others as well as give these kids a place to be safe and make friends. My dreams were exceeded by reality. Though small, the group has remained strong. Every meeting consists of prayer, singing, petitions to the Lord and the attempt to pray in tongues. The group helps out in community affairs, volunteering at the Parish festival every year as well as occasionally preparing essentials for the homeless. Best of all, an unbreakable bond was created between all the members of Servi Dei, a bond of friendship sprung from a love of God. As ambassadors of Christ, I know it is our job to spread the faith and the love that we feel from God. I believe this group has done this. I’ve been told that it has given hope in the church community by uniting the different ethnic communities that make up my parish.
Today we celebrate Ash Wednesday and begin the Holy Season of Lent. As we receive the ashes on our forehead, in the sign of the cross, may it give us cause to call to mind the love God has shown us and challenge us to love others in return. And as we look upon Christ on the Cross during Lent may we be encouraged by the reality that Jesus loves us “this much.”
Ivonne M. Gonzalez is a Senior at TCNJ